The Karma Repair Kit

Ever wondered why things don’t work out for you?

Ever said, “Shit, this just isn’t fair?”

 Ever wondered why nice guys finish last?

Well, join the club.  We’ve all said that and been there. But guess what,
it probably IS your fault things don’t work out the way you want.

  • We’re not saying you’re not a good person, or are
    fulfilling a self-defeating prophecy.

  • No, we’re not going to mutter a word of those
    enlightening infomercial-selling pieces telling you to become better motivated
    or learn the art of success, or how to allow yourself to enjoy success.

  • No, it’s probably your fault because of things you did in
    a previous life.  It’s burnt Karma.

It’s the perfect explanation for modern day life. You can blame yourself and still not take responsibility, because really, there was nothing you could do about it. Chances are you were probably a horrible person in a former life, did some miserable rotten things, and the purpose of this life is to suffer for those sins. See, it’s not really your fault, it’s a former incarnation of you that was the jerk. So why should you be miserable for it now?

You don’t have to be. Thanks to a new convention of modern technologies and ancient practices, you can enjoy your life. You just have to repair your Karma. It’s not as difficult as you may think either.

The Karma Repair Kit: When nothing else makes sense

NOTE:  These kits are for entertainment purposes only.  If after using them life isn’t fair, please try another kit, as each kit only works for ONE previous life.  You might have been a jerk throughout all eternity!  Or your Karma may be so far-gone that we cannot help you at this point.

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes Sense

Products

Karmic Incantation

$5.00



Not sure you’re ready to commit to the
full kit yet? Worried about what your neighbors, friends, relatives might say if they see you chanting over a doll? Need a quick gift for someone that’s way cooler than the average gag gift, and will help you as well as the recipient? This is the perfect gift! All you have to do is provide a name and description or photo, and one of our experts will say the chant for you, and send you an electronic certificate of completion. Easy and quick!

The Karma Repair Kit

$14.95
coming soon
Don’t Pay for the sins of previous lives today.  Repair your Karma now so you can enjoy a happy, successful and balanced life.  (one kit per previous  life).
(Discounts available for kits for several lives, if purchased at the same time)

The Karma Repair Kit – Basic Edition

$  9.95
coming soon
This is very similar to the regular version except it is not as potent.  (one kit per previous  life).

The Karma Protection Kit

 $12.95
coming soon
Protect your future lives from your current sins and transgressions.

Karmatically Changing your Mate

$14.95
coming soon
Can’t understand your mate?  Try a Karma repair kit, and perhaps they might not be as annoying, irritating, or self-defeating.

The Expectant Karma Repair Kit

$12.95
coming soon
Your unborn child may have been Attila the Hun.  He or she may also have been Mother Teresa.  With the Expectant Karma Repair kit you can help your child by repairing his or her Karma to avoid the unfairness of everyday existence in this life.  Please note: the Karma repair kit does not harm perfect Karmas.

Repairing The Karma of Others

$14.95
coming soon
Work with Jerks?  Can’t understand why your boss is making THAT decision?  Could be Karma.  Why don’t you help them out, and help yourself at the same time? For friends, bosses, co-workers, IRS employees, etc.
(Please note, we are not able to offer a Karma Repair kit for lawyers, as the shipping costs on such a large box is too much for anyone to buy, and we’re not convinced they can be saved.)

Your Parents

$NA
Could be they were assholes, too.  We do not currently offer a Parent Karma Repair Kit, since it doesn’t affect you at this point, and you might just want to let them suffer for their past sins, an current ones, for all eternity.  (If you feel this way, though, you might want to pick up an extra Karma Protection Kit for yourself.)

Karmic Incantation

$5.00



Not sure you’re ready to commit to the
full kit yet? Worried about what your neighbors, friends, relatives might say if they see you chanting over a doll? Need a quick gift for someone that’s way cooler than the average gag gift, and will help you as well as the recipient? This is the perfect gift! All you have to do is provide a name and description or photo, and one of our experts will say the chant for you, and send you an electronic certificate of completion. Easy and quick!

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes Sense

Purpose

The purpose of this kit is to allow you to atone for the transgressions in your past life, for which you are paying the cost now, to allow for a better, more successful, happier present life. Now, you also might be an asshole in this life, too, or you might be concerned for others in your life, in which case you might want to check out our other kits.

NOTE:  These kits are for entertainment purposes only.  If after using them life isn’t fair, please try another kit, as each kit only works for ONE previous life.  You might have been a jerk throughout all eternity!  Or your Karma may be so far-gone that we cannot help you at this point.

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes Sense

Who Are We (Today)

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes SenseWe’re just weird. We’re fun. We found this justifies stuff.

We hope you will, too.

Enjoy.

Your friends bringing you The Karma Repair Kit

NOTE:  These kits are for entertainment purposes only.  If after using them life isn’t fair, please try another kit, as each kit only works for ONE previous life.  You might have been a jerk throughout all eternity!  Or your Karma may be so far-gone that we cannot help you at this point.

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes Sense

Entertainment

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes SenseNOTE:  These kits are for entertainment purposes only.  If after using them life isn’t fair, please try another kit, as each kit only works for ONE previous life.  You might have been a jerk throughout all eternity!  Or your Karma may be so far-gone that we cannot help you at this point.

The Karma Repair Kit: When Nothing Else Makes Sense